Tag: No Asshole Rule

  • A Tough Question From Professor Bret Simmons About Being An Authentic Boss

    Bret_Simmons

    I did an online interview on Good Boss, Bad Boss with Professor Bret Simmons, who is one of my favorite bloggers.  Bret does a lovely job of striking a practical balance between what the best evidence shows about management and other organizational behavior and the practicalities and realities of organizational life (as an example, don't miss his most recent post on the Ten Most Important Leadership Functions).  Bret asked me some mighty hard questions about the book; perhaps the one that caused me to pause most is this exchange (see the rest of the interview here)

    Bret's Question:

    Of
    all your suggestions on how to be a good boss, the one I struggled the
    most with was the first one – take control. Is it really possible to
    “trick” others that you are in control? What conditions might cause the
    illusion of control to be ineffective or even backfire?

    My Answer:

    Bret, I struggled with this too.  In fact, if you look at the table
    that summarizes these tricks I warn “Learn to be assertive enough. Don’t
    become an overbearing asshole when you use these strategies.”  I guess
    there is sometimes a fine line between what is “faking it” versus what
    means a skilled leader uses to convince others that he or she is in
    charge.  There is pretty strong evidence that when we BELIEVE our
    leaders are in charge, we do better work and they have a better chance
    of keeping their jobs and being admired by others.   That list was meant
    to show well-meaning leaders the evidence-based moves that help
    convince others they are in charge so they can get things done.

    So, in
    the case of one leader I worked with a bit who was well-liked but was
    not instilling enough confidence, it was useful for him to learn things
    like he should go to the head of the room and stand-up, to battle back
    when others interrupt him too much, that going through a process of
    grabbing some power and then giving it away (he did this by taking a
    large high status for awhile and then, as he saw how crowded people
    were, he had it turned into a conference room and took a smaller
    office).  On one level, these are “tricks,” but on another level, by
    learning about the kinds of things that were seen by his people as
    evidence that he was “finally stepping-up and taking charge” made him a
    more effective leader.

    When does that backfire?  It backfires especially badly when a boss
    becomes so confident or pig-headed that he or she feels superior to
    everyone else – the smartest person in the room, who doesn’t need to do
    things like listen to people, like allow and encourage them to question
    his or judgment, and to admit and learn from setbacks and failure.  Note
    this is delicate balance that I talk about a lot in Chapter 3 on
    wisdom.  More broadly, the best bosses constantly do a balancing act
    here – acting confident but not really sure (see this post
    at HBR).  I think of three bosses I’ve met who are especially adept at
    his, David Kelley of IDEO, Brad Bird at Pixar, and AG Lafley at Procter
    & Gamble.  In fact, I seriously considered naming the book “Top Dog
    On A Tightrope (this was Marc Hershon’s idea, a guy who, among other
    things, names things for a living – he named the Blackberry and the
    Swiffer).

    I think that Bret forced me to think more deeply what I see as a real dilemma for bosses.  Yes, I believe that all of us, including bosses should aim to be our "authentic selves" BUT we also need to realize that there might be times when we follow or habits and instincts and say whatever is on our minds, that we undermine the ability of others to get their work done, drive them crazy, and undermine their confidence in us.  Or to put it another, I once had a rather unpleasant argument with a colleague where (without using the word), I asked him to be less of an asshole to students, he argued back that  he was just being his natural sense.  I argued back that his authentic self was doing enough doing enough damage to other people and to his reputation that he might want to think about making some adjustments. I am not arguing for bringing in the clones,there is clearly a tough balance to reach here as weirdos, people rough edges, naysayers, and a host of other difficult people play essential roles and, if we stomp the zest out of them or send them packing, our lives will be duller for it, we will make worse decisions, and our organizations will be less creative.

    I would appreciate your thoughts on this dilemma or balancing act, as it can be a tough one for bosses and their followers, peers, superiors and mentors to navigate.

  • Hitting the Delete Button: “I gave a copy to my (former) asshole boss with my resignation letter tucked inside.”

    I am mostly focused on the launch of Good Boss, Bad Boss as it was just published last week (I am sitting in a hotel room in New York right now as I am here doing some book PR).  But, as the new chapter in the paperback emphasizes, I am and will always be "the asshole guy."  And when I get emails like this one (reprinted with permission) from an attorney, it still makes my day:

    I just wanted to thank you for your blog and The No
    Asshole Rule
    .  Your wisdom helped me finally escape a terrible job
    that was sucking my soul and making me miserable.
      I started my own solo
    law practice and am happier than I've ever been
    Thank you so much for
    helping me salvage my career and, frankly, my life.  I tell everyone who
    will listen about your book.
      I gave a copy to my (former) asshole boss
    with my resignation letter tucked inside. 🙂

    I hope she has great success in her new practice.  And this note, and so many others like it, show how destructive bossholes can be to those around and, ultimately to themselves.


    Button_bigger P.S. As my tips for surviving assholes suggest, this woman is doing what I believe — and the research shows — is the best solution if you are stuck with an asshole boss that you can't get fired: escape as fast you can.



  • The No Asshole Rule Paperback is Shipping — with “On Being the Asshole Guy”

    SuttonbigNARnew2

    Amazon is already shipping the paperback edition of The No Asshole Rule; the official release is September 1 but they are moving a bit ahead of schedule.  I had a lot of fun writing the new chapter called "On Being the Asshole Guy."  It considers a bunch of things that I learned from writing a book that provoked such strong and often surprising reactions. The chapter starts with this paragraph:

    "I didn’t plan it.  I never wanted it.  I didn’t believe it at first.  And it still makes me squirm.  But I accept it now much as I accept being a
    56-year-old balding white male:  I am the asshole guy.  Regardless of anything I ever wrote or said
    about management, or ever will, I am condemned to be that guy for the rest of
    my life.
    "

    The sections in the chapterinclude: "The Title is Useful, Powerful, and Dangerous," "Be Slow to Label Others as Assholes, But Quick to Label Yourself," "Subtle,Skilled, and Strategic Assholes are Especially Insidious," "Many Leaders and Organizations Use the Rule — and it Works," "The Book Touched a Nerve About Bad Bosses," and  "Eliminate the Negative First."

    Amazon is charging less the ten bucks for it. So if you've been waiting for the paperback to buy the book, or for that special friend or enemy, the time is here. And don't forget about the ARSE — Asshole Rating Self-Exam.  A self-test to see if you are a certified asshole (or not).  Close to 250,000 people have already completed it.

    P.S. Amazon has the old cover up but will be fixing that soon.

  • THANKS. A really neglected form of compensation

    This is the entire contents of page 129 in the late Robert Townsend's masterpiece Up the Organization. I wrote a rave about this book awhile back, and I still find myself going back to it often.  Townsend was, among other things, CEO of Avis, and a complete character.

    I was reminded of this page by a comment at HBR in response to my list of 12 Things Good Bosses Believe. Carmilla, who is a personal assistant to a busy surgeon, wrote that her boss had only thanked her once in five months, and it was a sarcastic throw away line. IT does not sound like she is going to stay in the job much longer.

    In addition to teaching surgeons all that fancy jargon and how to do procedures, perhaps they should also have them practice saying "thank you" as part of their training.  Unfortunately, from what I know of the occupation, I suspect that veteran surgeons model the opposite behavior when dealing with residents and medical students far too often. 

    P.S. I was thinking of my favorite management books of all time the other day.  As an academic, I guess I am supposed to like more research-based books, but to be honest, right now my top two might be Up the Organization and Orbiting the Giant Hairball — both books by dead white guys who told personal stories, and didn't use research at all to support their claims.  But they were honest and authentic, and both are funny too — a tough thing to do in a management book.

  • A Shitty View of the Pecking Order

    Assholes
    I posted another variation of this drawing a couple years back, but the text and the drawing on this one is one is much better.  And unfortunately, as I have written about multiple times (see here and here), there is plenty of evidence that people at the top of pecking order are prone to shit on those at the bottom — and to be unaware of their insensitive moves.  But the good news — as I show in Good Boss, Bad Boss — is there are plenty of people at the top of the pecking order who find ways to overcome this tendency to shit on their underlings.

    P.S. Leon, thanks for sending this!

    P.P.S.  You owe to yourself to go to Bruce Lynn's comment below and to click on the url, it is a thing of beauty.

  • Assholes Who Turned Out to Be Right and Other Thoughts About Creative People

    In the fog of my first couple weeks after surgery, I missed some intriguing developments.  Thanks to you folks who read this blog, I got some great emails to help me stay in the loop.  As I was wrestling with my email inbox last night, I found a note from Patrick with a link to a fantastic — troubling, enlightening, and funny — story at cracked.com (which looks to me like a cross between Mad magazine and The Onion, but is more fact-based — they apparently have been around since 1958) on The Five Biggest Assholes Who Ever Turned Out to Be Right, which was posted on April 23rd. 

    I was taken by the post because the author, Dan Seitz, did such a great job of finding people who were annoying, nasty, stubborn, mean-spirited, and otherwise socially inept or personally despicable, but  had championed unpopular but good ideas (or in some cases, ideas that were just different from the prevailing wisdom but they were dismissed because the ideas were advocated by an alleged asshole).  I urge you to read this quite detailed story, where you can learn about the exploits, quirks, and ideas of alleged assholes including baseball player Jose Canseco (he claimed that many stars, including himself, were using steriods, which turned out to be true), scientist  Peter Duesberg (very unpopular because he claimed that AIDS is not caused by HIV, which made him so unpopular that his colleagues and others have — until recently — been ignoring his potentially breakthrough work on the causes of cancer), Harry Markopolos (who admits that he combines the worst characteristics of a math nerd and frat boy — but spent 9 years pressing his accusations that Bernie Madoff was running a Ponzi scheme).  

    My favorite asshole who was right, however, is Fritz astronomer.  See this description from the American Museum of Natural History for more details.   But as Seitz tells us:

     

    21945 To give you an idea of how charming Fritz Zwicky was, when he was
    working at Aerojet, a bunch of customers from the military, including
    two admirals, showed up for an appointment to check on his progress.
    Zwicky met them at the gate demanding that they
    leave
    because they weren't scientists and were therefore absolutely
    unqualified to look at the stuff they were, um, buying. Outside of work,
    his solution to winning arguments was to try and punch people, which
    was mostly found adorable because he was a little old man who could be
    pummeled easily. It became less adorable when he said things like "I myself can think of a
    dozen ways to annihilate all living beings in one hour," and his
    scientific partner was afraid Zwicky was out to kill him.

    BUT he was right in serious ways, even though it took decades  for his colleagues to find that out because they thought these were just wacky ideas from "Crazy Fritz" (pictured to the left).  As Seitz tells it:

    Needless to say, the whole "total lack of people skills" thing made
    him so popular and beloved he got the nickname "Crazy Fritz." So it was
    easy to ignore Zwicky while he was off doing crazy things like inventing
    most of modern astronomy.

    The term "supernova"? He invented it.

    Plus:

    He also developed the theory that allows us to know how old the
    universe is. Dark matter? He was among the first to theorize about it.
    Gravitational lensing, i.e. using stars to look at other stars? He laid
    out the theory 40 years before it was actually proved correct. Zwicky was so ahead of his time, and so annoying, that it was
    basically routine in the 70s to say "Yeah, Fritz Zwicky thought of this
    40 years ago but nobody took him seriously because he was a crazy
    douche
    ."

    Stories like these, especially the one about Fritz, are important to remember because — although people who are stubborn, trample over everyone else, are unable or unwilling to use the most basic social graces, and treat others like dirt clearly deserve to be called assholes and may not be worth the trouble no matter how brilliant they are — they are less burdened than most of us by pressures to think like everyone else. They may be  in a better position, as the first scientist to isolate Vitamin C — Albert Szent-Gyorgi — famously suggested (I am paraphrasing),  "To look at the same thing as everyone else, but to think of and see something different."  

    I wrote a lot about people with this talent in Weird Ideas That Work, especially in the chapter on "slow learners."  I would also add, however, that there are many people who think for themselves and stubbornly stick to unpopular ideas regardless of social pressures and prevailing wisdom, but aren't assholes.  A good example was Nobel Prize winner Richard Feynman, who did irritate people by pushing ideas they disagreed with, but was known as usually charming and well-loved.  He won a  Nobel Prize on Physics and many experts believe he deserved one, possibly two, others (e.g., Feynman solved a problem that another researcher won another Nobel for years later — but the paper with the solution just sat in his drawer for many years because he never got around to sending the paper to an academic journal).

    He also "went rogue" as member of the Rogers Commission that investigated the explosion of the Challenger Space Shuttle — and despite pressures to stop from the head of it — did his own interviews with NASA scientists and engineers that led him to believe that the explosion was caused by O-rings that failed under cold temperatures.   If you have never seen it, his demonstration to congress (which some members of the commission tried to stop) that when an O-ring was put in beaker of cold water, it became brittle and more likely to break, was the pivotal moment in the investigation — it is a beautiful example of breaking down a problem to its esssence. Feynman's role on the Rogers Commission is instructive because, although he fought with the head of the commission William Rogers about the independent action he took and was famously called "a real pain" by Rogers, he wasn't doing it to be an asshole. He was doing to get to the truth.  Rogers probably thought he was an asshole, which reminds me that it is label that people should hesitate to use and accept as true, because it is often applied simply to people who disagree with us, are more successful than us, or who simply act or think differently than than us. 

    If you are in a group or organization where people who simply look, think, or act differently than everyone else are labeled as assholes, and the best you can be is a perfect imitation of everyone else around you, well, the odds are no one is thinking very much and there isn't much original thinking going on.

    In short, although being oblivious or indifferent (or naive, by the way) to what others thing can help people see and develop new ideas (and is a hallmark of assholes at times), I think it is important to keep in mind that not all original thinkers are assholes (the trick is to see things differently and not to cave in when people don't like your "different ideas").  I should also point out that not all assholes are original thinkers.  There are plenty of mean-spirited jerks out there who mindlessly follow the crowd and are incapable of original thinking.  

    P.S. Also note that the post at Cracked reminds us of another cost that assholes inflict on themselves and others — if you are branded as an asshole, people are more likely to reject your ideas, even if they are right.  The negative reactions they have to YOU color their reactions to your ideas.  One solution, by the way, is if you are an asshole with good ideas, you might work with a more socially adept partner who is more skilled at selling your ideas.

  • When Do Performance Evaluations Actually Work?

    A couple years back, I wondered aloud here if performance evaluations ought to be eliminated.   This theme has been taken-up with a vengeance by Sam Culbert in his Wall Street Journal article and now his book Get Rid of the Performance Review.  I was thinking about this topic again because Tara Parker-Pope raised the question in her New York Times health blog called "Well" in a post called Time to Review Workplace Reviews?  

    Tara mentions Sam's book and suggests that bad performance reviews may be so distressing that they can damage physical and mental health, as well as productivity.   I am only person mentioned in the article who comes close to defending reviews, but am quoted as saying:  “In the typical case, it’s done so badly it’s better not to do it at
    all.”  I guess I still agree with my quote, but while I think that most performance reviews suck, there are a least a couple companies out there that do them effectively, so perhaps it is going too far to say they should all be eliminated.

    One company  that I know pretty well (the NDA I signed forbids me from mentioning their name) does such a good job of using reviews for both developmental and evaluation purposes, that most people I know who work there report the system is remarkably fair and that it has helped them improve their weak spots (the main complaint is how much effort it takes, but most employees report it is worth the trouble).  And perhaps the ultimate test is that even the people who get negative reviews there and are encouraged to leave the place generally report that it is an excellent and well-managed process.  Now, this company might be as rare as hen's teeth (this is the first time I have ever used this phrase in writing or speaking in my life).  And even in this exemplary company, I have met a few people who complain about the system.

    Yet this and other exceptions raise interesting questions about lessons that we might learn from such "positive outliers," as they call them in medical research and elsewhere:

    1.  Have you been part of a performance evaluation system that actually works?

    2. If so, why did it work? 

    I would be most curious to hear some success stories, given all the failure stories I hear (just look at the 150 or so comments following Tara's post… most are pretty negative…although I am intrigued by the person who reports that being in a place with no performance reviews is even more stressful because people never know where they stand).

    P.S. I also wanted to thank Tara for raising the additional issue of how distressing a bad boss can be and giving a nice plug to Good Boss, Bad Boss at the end of the post.  I am delighted to have a book that The New York Times will actually mention by name, unlike The No Asshole Rule (even though they accepted this advertisement, they called it The No ******* Rule on their bestseller list, and in most stories, they simply say that I wrote a book on bullying and don't list any name).  Although I confess that this (apparently) new found respectability at The Times makes me a bit uncomfortable, as I am always weirdly happy when people from established institutions are offended by my actions. I know it is not a very mature reaction for a 56 year-old professor, but such vestiges of my youth persist.

  • Craig Ferguson’s Intriguing Joke: Does Every Group Have at Least One Asshole?

    In The No Asshole Rule, I make a tentative argument that it might be better to have one token asshole in a group (rather than none) to show others how NOT to behave — a suggestion supported by some behavioral science research, especially studies on littering that show people are less likely litter into a setting that has one piece of garbage than none at all (apparently because the one bad example makes the norm against littering  more vivid).  Frankly, I was not sure about the wisdom of this argument then, and am even am less sure of now.  The reason I am less sure now (although I do have examples where a single token asshole was used by colleagues to remind themselves how not to behave) is that negative emotions and behaviors pack such a big wallop and are so contagious that the speed at which the negativity can spread from the token asshole to everyone else means this is can be a dangerous practice.

    This all sets the stage for an old joke.  I think I first heard it from Craig Ferguson, the late night talk show host:

    Every group has an asshole. If you look around and don't see one, that means it is you.

    I think that is as good an asshole joke as I have heard.   Perhaps it is funny because it is true — it is consistent with research showing that we humans are remarkably oblivious to our flaws.  In particular, this  joke is instructive for bosses because power is so toxic and so many bosses are so oblivious to their asshole ways.

  • Nice Article in WSJ on Banishing Office Jerks, But They Seem Afraid to Say “Asshole”

    A few weeks back, just before my surgery, I was interviewed by Sue Shellenbarger of the the Wall Street Journal about an article she was doing on workplace jerks and their management.  The article on Banishing the Office Jerks appeared today, and I must say — after reading hundreds of these things over the last few years — this is one of the very best.  It focuses particularly on  Lars Dalgaard, the CEO of HR software firm SuccessFactors.  I have written about Lars and his firm's "no jerks" rule several times, including here and here (they used to call it "no assholes," but cleaned it up right about the time they went public).  I am glad that I introduced Sue to Lars.  He admits that he was an workplace jerk early in his career,  As I suggested to Sue when I told her about Lars, one of the things I admire most about him is that in a world where most executives are so guarded and so defensive that it is difficult to understand what the hell they are actually saying, Lars tells the truth.  (Indeed, as I was watching the Goldman executives testify to congress yesterday, I realized that — no doubt with help from their lawyers — they seemed to have mastered the art of talking on and on without ever actually conveying any content.)  I have talked to Lars about how he sees himself as a recovering asshole before, but I was struck to see how, in the article, he traced it back to family dynamics when he was growing-up (a topic that people who study workplace assholes rarely touch on): 

    He has since realized that an old family pattern was at work, he says.
    His father was so tough and blunt with him when he was small that he was
    behaving the same way with others, trying to be "the hero CEO, the
    Rambo" who ignored people's feelings. Now that he is conscious of the
    problem, he says he has changed his ways. He has even instituted a
    "no-jerks" policy at his company, banning similar behavior by others.

    I was also pleased to see that Sue included a bit of information about another one of my favorite executives, Paul Purcell of Baird, who as I have written here before credits his firm's no asshole rule for both its civilized culture (it keeps rising on Fortune's best place to work list) and also credits it for helping Baird — a financial services firm — grow stronger during financial meltdown.  I write a fair amount about Paul and Baird in my next book, Good Boss, Bad Boss, as I find him one of the most impressive CEOs around in terms of his ability to build a culture that strikes a healthy balance between humanity and performance.  I was interested to see that Sue reported:

    Paul Purcell, chairman, president and chief executive, estimates he has fired more than 25 offenders in the last five years,
    including people who "hurt and belittle other people," or who put their
    own interests ahead of clients or the firm. When he speaks to groups of
    prospective recruits, he warns them: If you're a jerk, "don't come,
    because we'll figure it out. It will be worse for you than it is for
    us.
    "

    A final little point, Sue writes that Baird "has a no jerks rule."  That is actually a bit inaccurate.  As the Fortune story makes clear, they call it The No Asshole Rule at Baird.  Apparently, although the WSJ had enough courage to write out the name of my book once or twice a few years back, and called it the The No A——- Rule on their bestseller list, they have lost their nerve again as they not only censor Baird's rule, they described me as "an author of a book on bad workplace behavior."  Oh well, I am more optimistic that they will spell out the name of my next book,  as Good Boss, Bad Boss is very clean title.

    My whining about censorship aside, check out the WSJ article, it is excellent.

  • His ARSE Score Dropped from 12 to 2: More Evidence That Asshole Poisoning is Contagious

    One of the main themes in The No Asshole Rule is that, if you work with a bunch of mean-spirited creeps, it is very difficult to avoid catching these "adult cooties."  There are at least two reasons this happens.  The first is that a pile of studies show that emotions and behavior patterns are remarkably contagious — that without realizing it, we mimic the way that people around us act.  The second reason is self-preservation: If you work with a bunch of nasty creeps who put you down all the time, treat you as if you are invisible, bad-mouth you, and tease you in hostile ways, sometimes the only way to protect yourself (for better or worse) is to return fire.   These points are supported by academic research, especially the one about emotional contagion.

    Yet it is always fascinating to see how this stuff plays out in the real world. I got an intriguing email the other day from a fellow (who had written me a second time) to report a big drop in his ARSE (Asshole Rating Self-Exam) score after leaving an asshole-infested workplace and moving to a civilized one.  Here is his email, with names of companies and people removed:

    Hi Bob,
    I sent you
    an email several years back (I believe around March 2008) when I left a
    horribly poisonous company after less than 3 months of employment.

    Since then I
    have started with [an energy company].  Very different environment. It's not
    Shangri-la but it's definitely a more positive workplace.

    When I was
    working for [the horribly poisonous company ] I had taken the ARSE exam and scored a 12 (after answering
    honestly). Today, I retook the test (answering honestly again) and scored a 2.
    I've sent the test to others in my work group and asked them to give me their
    test scores. The highest score was a 6.


    I also find
    myself much more productive and spend most of my time working on how to achieve
    the group's goals instead of how to protect mysel
    f
    .

    This story also reinforces a point I make over and over again on this blog and every other place I write and speak: If you are in an asshole-infested work group or organization, the best thing you can do is to get out as fast as you can.  Yes, there are ways to limit the damage, fight back, and to make changes — but they don't always work, and even when they do, you can suffer a lot of damage in the process.