Tag: No Asshole Rule

  • Asshole Bosses and You: A Cartoon By Team Synchronicity at North Carolina State


     

    I just got an email from Scott Bolin, an MBA student at North Carolina State, who worked with his team of fellow MBA's,  James Wall, My Le, and Bikram Jit Singh, create a funny and well-crafted cartoon called Asshole Bosses and You.  It not only is quite funny, "Team  Synchronicity," as they call themselves, did a great job of summarizing the main ideas in The No Asshole Rule.   I love the creativity, and while it may not be my place, I would call it "A" work if their teacher, Professor Roger Mayer, asked for my advice!  I especially love the way the evil boss looks and sounds.

  • The Power of Escaping a Vile Workplace: His ARSE Score Dropped from 12 to 2

    One of the main themes in The No Asshole Rule is that, if you work with a bunch of mean-spirited creeps, it is difficult to avoid catching these "adult cooties."  There are at least two reasons this happens.  The first is that a pile of studies show that emotions and behavior patterns are remarkably contagious — that without realizing it, we mimic the way that people around us act.  The second reason is self-preservation: If you work with a bunch of nasty creeps who put you down all the time, treat you as if you are invisible, bad-mouth you, and tease you in hostile ways, sometimes the only way to protect yourself (for better or worse) is to return fire.   These points are supported by academic research, especially on emotional contagion.

    Yet it is always fascinating to see how this stuff plays out in the real world. I got an intriguing email the other day from a fellow (who had written me a second time) to report a big drop in his ARSE (Asshole Rating Self-Exam) score after leaving an asshole-infested workplace and moving to a civilized one.  Here is his email, with names of companies and people removed:

    Hi Bob, I sent you an email several years back (I believe around March 2008) when I left a horribly poisonous company after less than 3 months of employment.

    Since then I have started with [an energy company].  Very different environment. It's not Shangri-la but it's definitely a more positive workplace.

    When I was working for [the horribly poisonous company ] I had taken the ARSE exam and scored a 12 (after answering honestly). Today, I retook the test (answering honestly again) and scored a 2. I've sent the test to others in my work group and asked them to give me their test scores. The highest score was a 6.

    I also find myself much more productive and spend most of my time working on how to achieve the group's goals instead of how to protect myself.

    This story also reinforces a point I make over and over again on this blog and  other places that I write and speak: If you are in an asshole-infested work group or organization, the best thing you can do is to get out as fast as you can.  Yes, there are ways to limit the damage, fight back, and to make changes — but they don't always work, and even when they do, you can suffer a lot of damage in the process.

    Note, for readers who may not know, the ARSE, or Asshole Rating Self-Exam, is a 24 item self-test that you can take to determine if you are a certified asshole, a "borderline" case, or not an asshole at all.  Many people also complete with someone else in mind, such as a boss or co-worker.  At last count, it had been completed by just 250,000 people.

    P.S. This is a revised version of a post that first appeared here early this year.  I thought it was a good time to reprint it as it is related to the "bad apple" story that was published in Sunday's New York Times.  In particular, this post reinforces  the importance of escaping from a vile workplace.

  • Bosshole Sues Clown For Not Being Funny Enough

    Since The No Asshole Rule was published in paperback a couple months back, the inflow of asshole stories into my inbox has been on the upswing.  I am getting at least three a day lately, and last week, I got ten one day.  I also expect an upswing next week, as I have a piece coming out in The New York Times business section this Sunday called "When Bad Apples Infect The Tree. "  I only share the most striking and instructive of such stories here; I got one Wednesday that certainly qualifies. The woman who wrote me works for a guy who clearly is a candidate for bosshole of the year. I am leaving out some parts of the email for length and also to protect her identity.  Consider this excerpt from a woman who finally took a job after searching for over a year:

    I was kind of desperate and took this job even though my gut said, "not a good idea."  You should always follow your gut.  I have almost walked out several times.  He lies about my benefits and salary.  He stated one salary and then told me once I started that the salary he quoted included potential bonus.  Of course, there is not going to be any bonus. 

    I don't get a lunch hour, and have to work at my desk or he calls me or texts me all the time.  In this year's time I took some time during lunch twice to go to doctor's appointments and he complained that I needed to not go so much as he was feeling taken advantage of.  Of course, his asking me to stop off at the grocery store and buy milk for him and his family and bring it to him (he was working at home) since it was on my way doesn't constitute being taken advantage of. 

    Needless to say, he has been a nightmare.  He has even texted me in the middle of the night demanding a report be redone immediately, and I actually did it.  Complete and total asshole.  And he's an asshole in his personal life.  His son had a birthday party and they hired a clown.  Well, he wasn't happy with the clown so he and his wife sued the clown to get their money back.  Seriously, this guy make millions a year and he sues a clown??? 

    She added "I've got to get away from asshole.  He's is like a vampire, sucks the joy out of life."  

    No kidding. I hope she finds a better job with a better boss as soon as possible.  I was careful to advise her, however, to resist the temptation to storm out, to tell her boss to take this job and shove it, as it is a lot easier to find a new job when you already have one.

     

  • Tips: How To Be An Effective Asshole

    The post I did yesterday about the All-Star Certified Asshole, Steve Raucci, reminded me of stuff I had written on the virtues of assholes, which is the focus of Chapter 6 of The No Asshole Rule.  I thought a bit of this material might be fun and perhaps instructive for those of you who went to leave a trail of victims in your wake, while using your nasty ways to get ahead in the local pecking order.  That is what Mr. Raucci did for decades;  although please keep in  mind that he will be at least 84 years old when he gets out of prison, if he lives that long.  Here is a list from Chapter 6 of NAR (which is Jeff Pfeffer's favorite chapter in the book, although it isn't mine):

    Do You Want to Be an Effective Asshole?

    Key Lessons

     1. Expressing anger, even nastiness, can be an effective method for grabbing and keeping power.  Climb to the top of the heap by elbowing your “colleagues” out of the way by expressing anger rather than sadness, or perfecting a “general’s face” like George S. Patton.

    2. Nastiness and intimidation are especially effective for vanquishing competitors.  Follow in the footsteps of baseball legend Ty Cobb, and succeed by snarling at, bullying, putting-down, threatening, and psyching-out your opponents. 

    3. If you demean your people to motivate them, alternate it with (at least occasional) encouragement and praise.  Alternate the “carrot” and the “stick,” the contrast between the two makes your wrath seem harsher and your occasional kindnesses seem even sweeter.

    4. Create a “toxic tandem.”  If you are nasty, team up with someone who can calm people down, clean-up your mess, and who will extract favors and extra work from people because they are so grateful to the “good cop.”  If you are “too nice,” you might “rent-a-jerk,” perhaps a consultant, a manager from temporary staffing firm, or lawyer.

     5. Being all asshole, all the time, won’t work. Effective assholes have the ability to release their venom at just the right moment, and turn it off when just enough destruction or humiliation has been inflicted on their victim.

    A final reminder for readers who are dreaming of putting these principles to work.  Here is how I end Chapter 6:

    'In closing, I want to make my personal beliefs crystal clear. Even if there were no performance advantages to barring, expelling, and reforming nasty and demeaning people, I’d still want organizations to enforce no asshole rules.  This book isn’t simply meant to be an objective summary of theory and research about the ways that assholes undermine organizational effectiveness.  I wrote it because my life and the lives of the people I care about are too short and too precious to spend our days surrounded by jerks.        

    And, despite my failures in this regard, I feel obligated to avoid inflicting my “inner jerk” on others.  I wonder why so many assholes completely miss the fact that all we have on this Earth is the days of our lives, and for many of us, huge portions of our lives are spent doing our jobs, interacting with other people.  Steve Jobs is famous for saying that the “journey is the reward,” but for my tastes, as much as I admire his accomplishments, it appears that he has missed the point. We all die in the end, and despite whatever “rational” virtues assholes may enjoy, I prefer to avoid spending my days working with mean-spirited jerks and will continue to question why so many of us tolerate, justify, and glorify so much demeaning behavior from so many people.'

     

  • I hand out copies of your book like valium pills

    This quote is from an email I got from the head of a "conflict resolution" office at a large organization. She was talking about The No Asshole Rule.  I wonder if the combination of the book and valium would be especially effective under some conditions!

  • Penis Poisoning Posts at BNET

    I have written extensively in The No Asshole Rule, in Good Boss, Bad Boss, and numerous posts (like this one) about the dangers of power poisoning, about how when people hold positions of authority over others, it often leads them to become more focused on their own needs, less focused on the needs and reactions of others, to act like the rules don't apply to them — along with a host of unattractive responses including the lack of impulse control and the tendency to dehiumanize others.   In this vein, I worked with the folks at BNET to do two posts (which just appeared) on a particular form of power poisoning, which I call "penis poisoning."  The first post is called "Would You Let Lust Ruin Your Career?"  Here is the opening:

    An old Yiddish saying in Portnoy’s Complaint – Phillip Roth’s lewd classic – describes the misguided behavior of all too many powerful men: Ven der putz shteht, ligt der sechel in drerd, which means “When the prick stands up, the brains get buried in the ground.” From recent academic research and press reports, it’s clear that power can poison even the most intelligent and well-meaning people when they take influential positions.

    I then explain a bit about the effects of power poisoning and offer advice for powerful men, starting with "Accept that you, as the owner a penis, are at risk."  The second post is what BNET calls a "rogues gallery"  called "Sex, Lies, and Stupidity;" which considers men who have apparently had impulse control problems of this kind ranging from former senator Larry Craig, to Bill Clinton, to Tiger Woods, to former HP CEO Mark Hurd, to pedophile Catholic priests.

    Sex is always fascinating to us human beings and so these posts are already generating comments. Yes, it is an entertaining topic, but it is also a serious one.  Penis poisoning ruins many people's lives — and is something that many organizations handle badly. 

  • How a New Yorker Used “The No Asshole Rule” on the Subway

    I got this fantastic email the other night.  The headline was "No Asshole Rule to the Rescue."  I repeat it in full, except for the name of the sender:

    Dear Prof. Sutton,

    I'm am about halfway through your book The No Asshole Rule and I have to tell you how it just moments ago let me diffuse a possibly temporary asshole (but probably a certified asshole) in a way you might not expect.

    Living in NYC you expect a fair amount of asshole interactions but tonight on my way from Union Square to my home in Park Slope I was confronted with an unusual asshole. I left your book at home on accident and decided to pass my time playing Word Mole on my cell phone. All of a sudden in my peripheral vision I saw the edge of a book and heard a mumble. I looked up and a bookish looking man was staring at me with a disgusted look and said, "This is Book."  the implication was "you kids these days just never read and only look at your mobile phones all day." I was taken aback for a moment, deflated by his constant critical stare, and then a swell of confidence came over me. I responded,"Yes, I know that's a book. I left my book on the counter this morning. It's called The No Asshole Rule and it's really been helping me deal with negative confrontation." all with a kind voice and friendly smile. IMMEDIATELY his face changed. He knew he was exposed. He responded, "Oh..ummm… I'll have to read that…" I said "Yup, it's great. Especially Chapter 4.".

    My stop arrived and I knew. I had handled myself thanks to The No Asshole Rule.

    This is, for better or worse, further evidence that I have written a book that people find useful — and sometimes dangerous — on the basis of the title alone.  This is one of the major themes in the new chapter in the paperback edition.  Being the asshole guy continues to be both weird and remarkably entertaining.

  • We’re Number 6! The New York Times Business List

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    I have been traveling enough that I did not get around to posting this until now.  Good Boss, Bad Boss is hanging in there pretty well on the bestseller lists.  In particular, last Sunday it was number 6 on the New York Times Business Bestseller list for hardbacks. Also, The No Asshole Rule was number 5 on the paperback business list and my publisher tells me will appear on other New York Times lists over the next couple weeks.   The sales of these books are a bit surprising to me because — despite the rise of the web — the success of both books is due more to sales in old fashioned bookstores than online sales.  Good Boss, Bad Boss is doing especially well at Barnes & Noble stores (see the rather rough picture above of a Barnes & Noble store in Midtown Manhattan) and The No Asshole Rule paperback is doing well in airport bookstores, especially Hudson's, which is displaying it prominently. 

  • Censored New York Times Ad For The No Asshole Rule

    My publisher put the ad below in The New York Times and Wall Street Journal for the paperback version of The No Asshole Rule.   Calling it The No A****** Rule is better than calling it The No ******* Rule, as The Times did when the book was on their bestseller list in 2007. (I note that they are spelling out the whole title in their "extended" list, as the book is #15 on the paperback "Advice"  list, but they don't publish that in the paper — the real test will be if it makes it to number #10. I hope they at least call it The No A******* Rule).  In any event, I thought this ad was fun, and since my mother missed it, I wanted her to see it:

    NYTbwTheNoAssholeRuleFINAL

  • Good Boss, Bad Boss Speech at the Commonwealth Club On Monday Night

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    As indicated in my post about speeches in September, I have been busy talking to various groups about the main ideas in Good Boss, Bad Boss.  I had a lot fun at Pixar, Disney Studios, IDEO, and Google talking to large groups, and also learned a lot from an interactive two hour session with a dozen or CEOs in Boston last Thursday.  Unfortunately, those talks were not open to the public. But the one I am doing tomorrow at the venerable Commonwealth Club is open.  I think this is my fourth or fifth talk at the Commonwealth Club, and the audiences are diverse and smart.  I am also going to have the honor of being introduced by Mary Cranston, the first woman to head a top 100 hundred law firm in the United States (and my wife's former boss!). Mary now serves on several corporate boards, including Visa.   

    Here are the details of the talk and a place to buy tickets online.  It starts at 6PM. 

    Also, for those on Peninsula, I have open talks on the Peninsula on September 30th, at Xerox PARC and at the Silicon Valley Commonwealth Club.