I did an online interview on Good Boss, Bad Boss with Professor Bret Simmons, who is one of my favorite bloggers. Bret does a lovely job of striking a practical balance between what the best evidence shows about management and other organizational behavior and the practicalities and realities of organizational life (as an example, don't miss his most recent post on the Ten Most Important Leadership Functions). Bret asked me some mighty hard questions about the book; perhaps the one that caused me to pause most is this exchange (see the rest of the interview here)
Bret's Question:
Of
all your suggestions on how to be a good boss, the one I struggled the
most with was the first one – take control. Is it really possible to
“trick” others that you are in control? What conditions might cause the
illusion of control to be ineffective or even backfire?
My Answer:
Bret, I struggled with this too. In fact, if you look at the table
that summarizes these tricks I warn “Learn to be assertive enough. Don’t
become an overbearing asshole when you use these strategies.” I guess
there is sometimes a fine line between what is “faking it” versus what
means a skilled leader uses to convince others that he or she is in
charge. There is pretty strong evidence that when we BELIEVE our
leaders are in charge, we do better work and they have a better chance
of keeping their jobs and being admired by others. That list was meant
to show well-meaning leaders the evidence-based moves that help
convince others they are in charge so they can get things done.
So, in
the case of one leader I worked with a bit who was well-liked but was
not instilling enough confidence, it was useful for him to learn things
like he should go to the head of the room and stand-up, to battle back
when others interrupt him too much, that going through a process of
grabbing some power and then giving it away (he did this by taking a
large high status for awhile and then, as he saw how crowded people
were, he had it turned into a conference room and took a smaller
office). On one level, these are “tricks,” but on another level, by
learning about the kinds of things that were seen by his people as
evidence that he was “finally stepping-up and taking charge” made him a
more effective leader.
When does that backfire? It backfires especially badly when a boss
becomes so confident or pig-headed that he or she feels superior to
everyone else – the smartest person in the room, who doesn’t need to do
things like listen to people, like allow and encourage them to question
his or judgment, and to admit and learn from setbacks and failure. Note
this is delicate balance that I talk about a lot in Chapter 3 on
wisdom. More broadly, the best bosses constantly do a balancing act
here – acting confident but not really sure (see this post
at HBR). I think of three bosses I’ve met who are especially adept at
his, David Kelley of IDEO, Brad Bird at Pixar, and AG Lafley at Procter
& Gamble. In fact, I seriously considered naming the book “Top Dog
On A Tightrope (this was Marc Hershon’s idea, a guy who, among other
things, names things for a living – he named the Blackberry and the
Swiffer).
I think that Bret forced me to think more deeply what I see as a real dilemma for bosses. Yes, I believe that all of us, including bosses should aim to be our "authentic selves" BUT we also need to realize that there might be times when we follow or habits and instincts and say whatever is on our minds, that we undermine the ability of others to get their work done, drive them crazy, and undermine their confidence in us. Or to put it another, I once had a rather unpleasant argument with a colleague where (without using the word), I asked him to be less of an asshole to students, he argued back that he was just being his natural sense. I argued back that his authentic self was doing enough doing enough damage to other people and to his reputation that he might want to think about making some adjustments. I am not arguing for bringing in the clones,there is clearly a tough balance to reach here as weirdos, people rough edges, naysayers, and a host of other difficult people play essential roles and, if we stomp the zest out of them or send them packing, our lives will be duller for it, we will make worse decisions, and our organizations will be less creative.
I would appreciate your thoughts on this dilemma or balancing act, as it can be a tough one for bosses and their followers, peers, superiors and mentors to navigate.