Category: The No Asshole Rule

A-Rod on the cover of the New York Post today.  He confessed later in the day.

The notion that online gaming communities enjoy and suffer from pretty much the same features as other human groups is something that social scientists are looking into pretty seriously these days. As I posted about a pretty long time ago, is something Joi Ito has been experimented with as well.  So it was interesting to see this post on Constructing a Civilized Guild at The World of Matticus.  "Matt" explains:

Every time we play WoW, we interact with various people. We interact
with people in parties. We interact with players in trade chat or out in
the world. And there is no place we interact more then in our own
guild. Whether you care to admit it or not, most guilds have an
asshole. I’m not talking about the jerk who likes to get on his fat
mount and block the quest turn in guy. Or the jackass who likes to hop
up and down on your fishing bobber.

No, the assholes I’m talking about represent a type of cancer in
your guild. You might be aware of it but most of you might not be.

This post is intended to be a wake up call.

I was especially intrigued by this comment (there were a lot), as it sounds almost exactly like challenge of dealing with star employees who are jerks, and they way that great bosses deal with them.

Assholes usually get away with it because they and their friends are
typically among the more skilled in the guild. If you react too
harshly, you risk your whole guild falling apart. But if you don’t do
anything, people will start to leave as well. The only real solution is
to confront the asshole’s behavior and give him a warning. If his bad
behavior has been mostly confined to private chat and some guild chat,
you can keep the rebuke and warning private. If it’s public (like a
venomous thread on the guild’s forums), you have to respond publicly.
If he fails to heed this warning, you have to act and gkick him. I’d
rather the guild dissolve or take a setback than deal with that kind of
behavior.

The lesson, of course, is that no matter where we go, we are still human-beings!

I got a nice note today from Emily over at Electric Pulp, who tells me that the ARSE just topped 180,000 completions. The self-examination continues!  If you haven't done so already, take it to see if you are a certified asshole. I just took again, for the first time in about a year. I scored a 4 — just below a "borderline" asshole. 

Also, although it isn't in the same league as the ARSE, the Flying ARSE (a self-test to see if you are asshole airline passenger) just topped 8000 completions. And the ACHE (Asshole Client from Hell Exam) for assessing whether your client is as anything from a "dream" to a "flaming certified asshole" has topped 13,000 completions. 

These things are fun to make.  Alas, I am too busy with other things right now, but the times seems ripe for a new test– perhaps something on clueless greed?

I couldn't believe the above strip, from January 30th.  I found out about on a blog comment that Tracy from Evidence Soup put on our Evidence-Based Management website — and she blogs about it.  Talk about when worlds collide!(These are the last two frames)

This is one of those weird things that is funny and seems absolutely correct — but I don't know why.  The argument, made at Jounce beautifully (and with pictures), is that when bosses have a white collar and colored shirt, it is sign they are assholes. (Indeed, the late Ken Lay from Enron was in this get-up when he testified to congress about Enron). As the post says:

Assholes nationwide — and probably worldwide — have embraced this
new, and highly practical, fashion. In fact, some of the men who best
exemplify the asshole archetype have been sporting it for years now.
Since they’re fake or dead, we can talk about them.

Consider Bill Lumbergh, the asshole boss in Office Space.
He sports the salmon shirt with white collar, perfectly positioned to
assert his authority as he asks for a little of your time on Sunday,
takes back that stapler (left), or checks in on your TPS reports.

You can see Bill in the salmon shirt on the post — above here he is wearing blue with the asshole collar.  And he is one of the best asshole bosses in any movie, if you missed him.

P.S. As Kevin reports, it turns out that there is 10th Anniversary celebration for Office Space being held in Austin in about a week.

Many thanks to Peter Sims for sending me this gem.

 I am not quite sure where I stand on the huge new bailout and am reading different sides to form an opinion.  I am damn sure, however, that former Merrill CEO John Thain tops my last for the most clueless and selfish asshole of them all. He was looking like a selfish and dishonest jerk when he had clearly lobbied for a big bonus for himself, but denied doing so. The latest news, which I am sure most of you know, is he apparently paid-out three or four billion dollars in bonuses in the last quarter of 2008, right before his bank was acquired by Bank of America (which has taken 20 billion in TRAP money). He should be thrown in Hudson River. I also wonder, are there any lawyers out there who are smart enough to figure out how to get some of this money back from these selfish creeps?  If you are one of the former Merrill executives who got that money, I suggest not spending it — I suspect the wheels are in motion already to take it back. Laws aside, Thain's actions are the most shameful I have seen in this fiasco. Thain brings power poisoning to a whole new level –in a just world, his assets would be seized and divided-up among several thousands people who are unemployed or about to lose their houses. I am not easily shocked, but his actions really upset me.

The No Asshole Rule just came out in Danish.  They call it Nul røvhuller-reglen.  And here and here are a couple links out their for those who read Danish .  IN fact, I would love to here from a Dane about how you would translate the title and about whether their are issues with The No Asshole Rule in Danish organizations — I suspect there are, in part, because I have been getting a smattering of emails from Danish victims in the last couple weeks,including one fellow who wrote me this sad note:

I've  been bullyed by a co-worker; the chief of staff didn`t do anything. My heart and
body is damaged, and I`m in bad shape and left hurting and she`s still at work,
hurting others.  I`m in a group of people, who all have had the
"pleasure" to meet a a*shole.. We`re helping each other, but need
research, help and money to continiue helping all these sweet but broken and
hurting men and women.

That phrase "sweet but broken and hurting men and women" is touching and heartbreaking.  I also take this is a sign that no matter how great a culture or country, there are always assholes. Even in Denmark, which some research shows has the happiest people in the world.

 My post on Hassholes prompted Melanie to comment that her friend Bob Conrad used the term "Bosshole." on his blog. I couldn't find it there, but I checked the Urban Dictionary: Bosshole is a word that has been used in at least five different ways. My 12 year-old daughter Eve is rather obsessed with The Office, and having seen a lot of episodes on iTunes, this might be the perfect word to describe Michael Scott, the insensitive jerk played by Steve Carell — pictured to the left.

I never heard this slang until this morning, when I colleague used it in an email (it was a friendly email).  It turns out to be in the Urban Dictionary, and one of the definitions of Hasshole is "a huge asshole." I don't quite understand the other definition.  I would propose a third, which is a blend of asshole and hassle. You know, the kind of person who wants a small thing from you or you need to get back to, but rather than an occasional gentle push, sends you four emails a day (all marked urgent), calls you constantly, or tracks down your location and –even if you are in a meeting with someone else — barges right in and starts making his or her request.  My experience, at least in universities, is that faculty are much more likely to be hassholes of this flavor than students, as students who act like this tend to have real concerns and real deadlines.

Note that there is some evidence that such tactics work, that squeaky wheels get the grease.  I am not especially skilled or prone to passive-aggression, but I notice that I respond to Hassholes with it — responding especially slowly and being especially unlikely to respond to their requests.  I am thinking of a now -retired State Farm insurance agent I had, who when we had not quite completed the paperwork for something that I guess would earn her a commission, she called us — and both of our offices — every day and even violated our privacy by explaining what it was for and what she needed from us to our coworkers.  Of course, when we needed help with unusual insurance claim a few months earlier, she and her staff had been remarkably unhelpful to the point where, after just a couple phone calls, we gave-up trying to get  help.  So I guess another part of this is reciprocity. Some people who can be very insistent, but I love them — because they give you a lot and ask for a lot.  As I think of it, those are some of my favorite people.

One of my theories (speaking of happiness) is that I am especially unlikely to say yes to requests from people who I see as hassholes when it means I will need to spend more time with that person in the future.  There are so many delightful people in the world, why not say yes to them and invite them to join you, and just decline invitations to meet or work with hassholes?

Note also that hassholes are the people most likely to be charged "asshole taxes" in life — at least based on conversations I've had over the past few years.

Let me know if you have any tips for dealing with hassholes.