Work Matters

How a New Yorker Used “The No Asshole Rule” on the Subway

Written by

supermoxie

in

I got this fantastic email the other night.  The headline was "No Asshole Rule to the Rescue."  I repeat it in full, except for the name of the sender:

Dear Prof. Sutton,

I'm am about halfway through your book The No Asshole Rule and I have to tell you how it just moments ago let me diffuse a possibly temporary asshole (but probably a certified asshole) in a way you might not expect.

Living in NYC you expect a fair amount of asshole interactions but tonight on my way from Union Square to my home in Park Slope I was confronted with an unusual asshole. I left your book at home on accident and decided to pass my time playing Word Mole on my cell phone. All of a sudden in my peripheral vision I saw the edge of a book and heard a mumble. I looked up and a bookish looking man was staring at me with a disgusted look and said, "This is Book."  the implication was "you kids these days just never read and only look at your mobile phones all day." I was taken aback for a moment, deflated by his constant critical stare, and then a swell of confidence came over me. I responded,"Yes, I know that's a book. I left my book on the counter this morning. It's called The No Asshole Rule and it's really been helping me deal with negative confrontation." all with a kind voice and friendly smile. IMMEDIATELY his face changed. He knew he was exposed. He responded, "Oh..ummm… I'll have to read that…" I said "Yup, it's great. Especially Chapter 4.".

My stop arrived and I knew. I had handled myself thanks to The No Asshole Rule.

This is, for better or worse, further evidence that I have written a book that people find useful — and sometimes dangerous — on the basis of the title alone.  This is one of the major themes in the new chapter in the paperback edition.  Being the asshole guy continues to be both weird and remarkably entertaining.

Comments

8 responses to “How a New Yorker Used “The No Asshole Rule” on the Subway”

  1. Thomas Avatar
    Thomas

    Nice. Your theory emboldened someone to call a complete stranger an asshole on the basis of what appears to be about a minute of interaction. Do we really want to live in that world?
    What surprises me is that you celebrate this as a strike against assholes everywhere.
    Your theory is actually much more sophisticated. It has an important criterion: assholes humiliate people less powerful than themselves. Next time you pass on a “feel good” story on your blog, I’d suggest you carry out that control operation first. Do we know anything about who was humiliated and who did the humiliating in this situation? Should we really legitimate this kind of snap judgement?
    Keep in mind that the emailer here actually acknowledges the values that the grumpy guy bases his remark on. Normally, he wouldn’t be playing games on his phone but reading a book.
    So what’s this really an example of? Pretty much nothing. Just one guy having one kind of day and another guy having another kind of day, and one of those guys deciding to cap it off by telling some guy he knows nothing about that he’s an asshole. Great work. Is that what you’re theory is trying to accomplish?

    Reply
  2. Thomas Avatar
    Thomas

    Nice. Your theory emboldened someone to call a complete stranger an asshole on the basis of what appears to be about a minute of interaction. Do we really want to live in that world?
    What surprises me is that you celebrate this as a strike against assholes everywhere.
    Your theory is actually much more sophisticated. It has an important criterion: assholes humiliate people less powerful than themselves. Next time you pass on a “feel good” story on your blog, I’d suggest you carry out that control operation first. Do we know anything about who was humiliated and who did the humiliating in this situation? Should we really legitimate this kind of snap judgement?
    Keep in mind that the emailer here actually acknowledges the values that the grumpy guy bases his remark on. Normally, he wouldn’t be playing games on his phone but reading a book.
    So what’s this really an example of? Pretty much nothing. Just one guy having one kind of day and another guy having another kind of day, and one of those guys deciding to cap it off by telling some guy he knows nothing about that he’s an asshole. Great work. Is that what you’re theory is trying to accomplish?

    Reply
  3. Thomas Avatar
    Thomas

    Nice. Your theory emboldened someone to call a complete stranger an asshole on the basis of what appears to be about a minute of interaction. Do we really want to live in that world?
    What surprises me is that you celebrate this as a strike against assholes everywhere.
    Your theory is actually much more sophisticated. It has an important criterion: assholes humiliate people less powerful than themselves. Next time you pass on a “feel good” story on your blog, I’d suggest you carry out that control operation first. Do we know anything about who was humiliated and who did the humiliating in this situation? Should we really legitimate this kind of snap judgement?
    Keep in mind that the emailer here actually acknowledges the values that the grumpy guy bases his remark on. Normally, he wouldn’t be playing games on his phone but reading a book.
    So what’s this really an example of? Pretty much nothing. Just one guy having one kind of day and another guy having another kind of day, and one of those guys deciding to cap it off by telling some guy he knows nothing about that he’s an asshole. Great work. Is that what you’re theory is trying to accomplish?

    Reply
  4. Thomas Avatar
    Thomas

    Nice. Your theory emboldened someone to call a complete stranger an asshole on the basis of what appears to be about a minute of interaction. Do we really want to live in that world?
    What surprises me is that you celebrate this as a strike against assholes everywhere.
    Your theory is actually much more sophisticated. It has an important criterion: assholes humiliate people less powerful than themselves. Next time you pass on a “feel good” story on your blog, I’d suggest you carry out that control operation first. Do we know anything about who was humiliated and who did the humiliating in this situation? Should we really legitimate this kind of snap judgement?
    Keep in mind that the emailer here actually acknowledges the values that the grumpy guy bases his remark on. Normally, he wouldn’t be playing games on his phone but reading a book.
    So what’s this really an example of? Pretty much nothing. Just one guy having one kind of day and another guy having another kind of day, and one of those guys deciding to cap it off by telling some guy he knows nothing about that he’s an asshole. Great work. Is that what you’re theory is trying to accomplish?

    Reply
  5. Thomas Avatar
    Thomas

    Nice. Your theory emboldened someone to call a complete stranger an asshole on the basis of what appears to be about a minute of interaction. Do we really want to live in that world?
    What surprises me is that you celebrate this as a strike against assholes everywhere.
    Your theory is actually much more sophisticated. It has an important criterion: assholes humiliate people less powerful than themselves. Next time you pass on a “feel good” story on your blog, I’d suggest you carry out that control operation first. Do we know anything about who was humiliated and who did the humiliating in this situation? Should we really legitimate this kind of snap judgement?
    Keep in mind that the emailer here actually acknowledges the values that the grumpy guy bases his remark on. Normally, he wouldn’t be playing games on his phone but reading a book.
    So what’s this really an example of? Pretty much nothing. Just one guy having one kind of day and another guy having another kind of day, and one of those guys deciding to cap it off by telling some guy he knows nothing about that he’s an asshole. Great work. Is that what you’re theory is trying to accomplish?

    Reply
  6. Thomas Avatar
    Thomas

    Nice. Your theory emboldened someone to call a complete stranger an asshole on the basis of what appears to be about a minute of interaction. Do we really want to live in that world?
    What surprises me is that you celebrate this as a strike against assholes everywhere.
    Your theory is actually much more sophisticated. It has an important criterion: assholes humiliate people less powerful than themselves. Next time you pass on a “feel good” story on your blog, I’d suggest you carry out that control operation first. Do we know anything about who was humiliated and who did the humiliating in this situation? Should we really legitimate this kind of snap judgement?
    Keep in mind that the emailer here actually acknowledges the values that the grumpy guy bases his remark on. Normally, he wouldn’t be playing games on his phone but reading a book.
    So what’s this really an example of? Pretty much nothing. Just one guy having one kind of day and another guy having another kind of day, and one of those guys deciding to cap it off by telling some guy he knows nothing about that he’s an asshole. Great work. Is that what you’re theory is trying to accomplish?

    Reply
  7. Thomas Avatar
    Thomas

    Nice. Your theory emboldened someone to call a complete stranger an asshole on the basis of what appears to be about a minute of interaction. Do we really want to live in that world?
    What surprises me is that you celebrate this as a strike against assholes everywhere.
    Your theory is actually much more sophisticated. It has an important criterion: assholes humiliate people less powerful than themselves. Next time you pass on a “feel good” story on your blog, I’d suggest you carry out that control operation first. Do we know anything about who was humiliated and who did the humiliating in this situation? Should we really legitimate this kind of snap judgement?
    Keep in mind that the emailer here actually acknowledges the values that the grumpy guy bases his remark on. Normally, he wouldn’t be playing games on his phone but reading a book.
    So what’s this really an example of? Pretty much nothing. Just one guy having one kind of day and another guy having another kind of day, and one of those guys deciding to cap it off by telling some guy he knows nothing about that he’s an asshole. Great work. Is that what you’re theory is trying to accomplish?

    Reply
  8. Thomas Avatar
    Thomas

    Nice. Your theory emboldened someone to call a complete stranger an asshole on the basis of what appears to be about a minute of interaction. Do we really want to live in that world?
    What surprises me is that you celebrate this as a strike against assholes everywhere.
    Your theory is actually much more sophisticated. It has an important criterion: assholes humiliate people less powerful than themselves. Next time you pass on a “feel good” story on your blog, I’d suggest you carry out that control operation first. Do we know anything about who was humiliated and who did the humiliating in this situation? Should we really legitimate this kind of snap judgement?
    Keep in mind that the emailer here actually acknowledges the values that the grumpy guy bases his remark on. Normally, he wouldn’t be playing games on his phone but reading a book.
    So what’s this really an example of? Pretty much nothing. Just one guy having one kind of day and another guy having another kind of day, and one of those guys deciding to cap it off by telling some guy he knows nothing about that he’s an asshole. Great work. Is that what you’re theory is trying to accomplish?

    Reply

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