The comments and questions generated by my post last week on Do You End Meetings on Time? are consistently wise and thoughtful, but I wanted to highlight the one by Kelley Eskridge in particular. It isn't just about ending meetings, it is about how to run a great meeting in general. I also suggest that you check out Kelley's website and blog. Her website is for her company, Humans at Work. You can see why she knows so much about running groups, as she does this for a living. The most amazing thing about her company website is that — although she will charge you to do it herself — she provides detailed advice about how to use her group intervention method yourself for free… now that is rare. I can't imagine Bain, BCG, or McKinsey doing quite the same thing!
Also, as I read her blog, I also learned Kelley has published a well-reviewed novel and many stories. Here novel, Solitaire, is being developed into a film. I guess that explains why her blog is so well-written, as is this lovely advice below on meetings. I especially like her advice about how a combination of rules, process skills, and a bit of polite courage can be used to gently tamp down destructive and overbearing team members:
One tool that has always helped me facilitate meetings — my own, and those fun times when I am the facilitator for the 35 300-pound-gorilla executives in the room — is Ground Rules.
I pre-publish a prepared list of ground rules to attendees, and also bring it on a flip chart into the meeting and hang it on the wall. The rules typically include:
— Start/end the meeting on time
— No interruptions
— No side conversations
— No phone calls/email in the meeting
— Everyone participates in brainstorming
— In dealing with conflict, we focus on the business choices, not on the people arguing for or against them
— We use a "parking lot" to capture ideas that are important to pursue, but not relevant to the work of this meeting.
— We leave the room with a clear record of decisions made and who is accountable for follow-up.
At the start of the meeting, ask if there is anyone who is not willing to work by these rules, and if there are additional ground rules needed.
And then when the EVP of Bananas starts steamrolling the conversation, cut her off; point to the flip chart; and say, "Cheetah, we have a rule about no interruptions. I'd like Tarzan to finish what he was saying and then I'll turn it over to you."
Cheetah won't like it. But 95% of the time, she'll do it. The other 5% of the time, you have to be willing to enlist the group's help to enforce the rules. That goes something like: "Okay, we all agreed to these rules. Cheetah has just said that she doesn't want to be bound by them. Does the rest of the group agree that these rules should be ditched? In my experience as a facilitator, if you're not willing to have rules for meetings, you'll have less effective meetings. That's up to you. What would you like to do?"
And then abide by the group's decision. Which will usually be "well… I think we should have rules… " (with covert looks at Cheetah, who will be pissed but basically powerless, unless she is real asshole).
I can already hear the howls of disbelieving laughter from folks, along the lines of "if only"… but I've done this plenty of times, always with success and never with any kind of retribution beyond the occasional "oh, right, PROCESS!" sneers.
The thing is, people will generally follow the most effective behavior that's modeled for them. Ground rules help you model the behavior and give you an objective reference point for calling out rudeness/ineffective behavior.
Most workplace assholes get away with it because no one stops them. Having an objective tool agreed on by the group can really help.
Kelley, thanks for taking the time write such a lovely and thoughtful comment.
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