The Asshole Collar

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This is one of those weird things that is funny and seems absolutely correct — but I don't know why. The argument, made at Jounce beautifully (and with pictures), is that when bosses have a white collar and colored shirt, it is sign they are assholes. (Indeed, the late Ken Lay from Enron was in this get-up when he testified to congress about Enron). As the post says:

Assholes nationwide — and probably worldwide — have embraced this
new, and highly practical, fashion. In fact, some of the men who best
exemplify the asshole archetype have been sporting it for years now.
Since they’re fake or dead, we can talk about them.

Consider Bill Lumbergh, the asshole boss in Office Space.
He sports the salmon shirt with white collar, perfectly positioned to
assert his authority as he asks for a little of your time on Sunday,
takes back that stapler (left), or checks in on your TPS reports.

You can see Bill in the salmon shirt on the post — above here he is wearing blue with the asshole collar. And he is one of the best asshole bosses in any movie, if you missed him.

P.S. As Kevin reports, it turns out that there is 10th Anniversary celebration for Office Space being held in Austin in about a week.

Comments

5 responses to “The Asshole Collar”

January 28, 2009

Matt

Then there’s the asshole name, (first intial) (name) (last name). It’s the use of the first initial that does it. I know a guy named Michael Kevin (lastname). He goes by Kevin, and is cool. There’s nothing wrong with going by your middle name. It’s that first initial that does it. However, if Kevin went by M. Kevin (lastname), he’d almost certainly be an asshole. And it’s exponential; if it was M. Kevin (lastname) III, he’d be an asshole cubed. Several of my friends have noticed the same thing, and it’s become code, so that if one makes some assholey remark, we say, OK, M. John rather than OK, Matt.
I noticed this first in college with a guy named J. John (lastname) III, and it was reinforced in my early career with a first-initial guy who also wore white-collared colored shirts! And had a III at the end of his name!
Abashed, I do have to note that I own one white-collared colored shirt. Looks pretty sharp, too. I’ll have to make sure I’m particularly obnoxious when I wear it.
Great blog, BTW.

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January 28, 2009

Kevin Rutkowski

I can’t believe that it’s the 10th anniversary of Office Space. They’re having a reunion here in Austin, where the creator is from. The actor who plays Bill Lumbergh is one of many actors who will be making a live appearance.
Alas, they sold out before I could buy tickets. It’s certainly a movie that anyone who works in an office should see.

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January 28, 2009

Melanie

Office Space is a classic!! Beloved by asshole victims everywhere! A must-see movie!
Astute observation, Bob, about the asshole attire.

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January 29, 2009

Kath Lockett

Add ‘bowties’ to your assholes’ guide to workplace fashion as well. These guys tend to be self-opinionated, pompous wankers who believe they’re being witty and ironic but are in fact boors and bores.

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January 29, 2009

M. Jackson Wilkinson

@Bob: Thanks for the link/post 🙂
@Matt: Awww, you got me. I wrote a post about an asshole signpost, yet I was wearing another one at the same time. Sadness.
I agree it’d be assholic to speak the initial initial, but there are legit reasons for writing it. The number of times I’ve had official/government forms made out with Jackson as my first name by someone who didn’t know about the M. has made it clear that I need to keep it there in writing to clue in such folks.
Also, my first name is Michael, so I’m Michael Jackson, and the M. prompts the story. Yes, I was born the same year Thriller came out. No, I wasn’t named after him, according to my parents. No one forgets my name after that 🙂

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