A Dangerous Gift

At various times, I’ve been tempted to set-up ways so that The No Asshole Rule can be sent as a gift (sometimes anonymously and sometimes not) to send a not-so-subtle message to an asshole boss or co-worker.   I’ve always resisted the temptation, in part, because I worried that if people are already assholes, getting the gift might cause them to go after the messenger, rather than to take it is a sign that they or their organization could be infected with asshole poisoning.  Indeed, research on whistleblowers confirms this "shoot the messenger effect."  I got a hint of this risk some months back, when a woman wrote me that her asshole boss saw the book on her desk, and told her to take it home.  But I was quite dismayed to receive this email today (I print it as it was sent, but have removed some identifying information):

Dear
Bob,

I bought a copy of The No Asshole
Rule
at an airport during a business trip. Reading the book, I figured out
without doubt that I was a victim.

Since being nominated for a new
role, I was reporting temporarily to my tormentor’s boss. He is one of the most
senior human resources executives within a large
bank. Following more foul play from his direct report, and
others, I decided to give him your book in the first edition version for
Christmas. In my card, I wrote that I would like to speak to him about similar
phenomena as depicted in your book within the context of our human resources
department.

He had me fired on the first working
day of 2008 (a week ago) – without even getting the opportunity to talk. I am
now in negotiations regarding the terms of my exit – and looking forward to a
new and less asshole ridden life.

Alas, I feel compelled to post this email as a warning to others; indeed, it seems that giving some assholes the book as a gift is dangerous because it turns them into even more flaming assholes.

Comments

2 responses to “A Dangerous Gift”

  1. HR Wench Avatar

    Sending the book anonymously to those who could really benefit from a long look in the mirror is a great idea. Sending it not so anonymously…well it’s one way to get unemployment…

  2. Dave M Avatar
    Dave M

    Uh, was he explicit that the behavior was **NOT** from his boss? Saying “I would like to speak to him about similar phenomena as depicted in your book within the context of our human resources department…” might have caused the boss to think the gift was about him. Just a thought, but in any case, a sad situation.

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