I’ve
always liked the tradition of using this time of year as a chance to reflect. For me, this was the
year of The No Asshole Rule, so I
will devote this post to that one and the next other topics. I never expected so many people to buy this
little book about workplace assholes in the United
States, let alone in France,
Germany,
and Italy;
and I was shocked when it won the Quill Award. And the rate at which related stories,
research, and “asshole management” methods were sent to me – and are sent to me
now – still astounds me.
It is hard to
pick my favorite “asshole-related moments,” but I will try. I am also weaving in some of my favorite pictures. The one at the top is from The New York Post (which published a series of related
stories) and the cry baby bully is from a Reuters story.
1.
I never expected over 130,000 people to complete the ARSE (Asshole-Rating Self
Exam). A big part of the reason is Guy Kawasaki’s magical touch. The
stories that people tell me about the ARSE are sometimes funny, and other
times, kind of scary. Like this one about the guy who quite his job right after
completing it for his VP,
who scored 23 out of 24. I also enjoyed playing with some other web toys,
including ARSEmail and the Flying ARSE, and although about 10,000
people have completed each, neither has quite touched a nerve in the same way
as the original ARSE. Stay tuned, early
next year, we will have a new web toy, to help you assess if you have a client
from hell (or if you are one). Also, the picture of the bully is by Lisa Haney.
2.
I received a lot of ideas from readers and fellow bloggers who helped me develop
and keep refining a set of tips
for surviving workplace assholes. I especially want to thank the government
worker who showed us the power of keeping “asshole
diaries” to document the behavior of the local bully, and was able to
triumph in large part because she was able to recruit several others oppressed
co-workers to do the same, and then present the evidence to their supervisor.
It reminded me of Arlo Guthrie’s old song Alice’s
Restaurant; if one person tries to fight back, the organization treats you
like you are nuts; if a whole bunch fight back together, then the chances that
you will be taken seriously are a lot higher. And pretty much the same point is supported by Professor Pamela Lutgen-Sandvik’s research on
fighting back against bullies. (The graphic is from a Value Rich story, which contained pictures designed to be inserted into various pages of The No Asshole Rule; this one is supposed to go on page 119).
3. I received many emails
and wrote many posts from people who complained about being oppressed by
assholes, and certainly, as this survey and especially this survey show, there
are a lot of assholes out there, and a growing body of research documents the
damage done. But a point that sometimes gets lost is that any of us, under the
wrong conditions, can turn into at least temporary assholes. Indeed, one of the
last points of the book is that “assholes are use.” This is one of the main implications of
research on power, as I wrote about here. And see this the post here to see why there is the strange picture of the guy with an "E" drawn on his head both backwards and forwards below.
I also learned a lot from the over 350 answers
and comments in response to my question on
the Linked-in blog: " As people become more powerful, there’s a tendency
for bad behavior to surface. What suggestions do you have for leaders to avoid
becoming a jerk in the face of rising pressure and demands?" But I
thought that the most insightful comment on the challenges of keeping one’s inner jerk in check was David
Maister’s list of “I’ve been an asshole when.” I applaud David’s honesty and courage. For better or worse, the things on David’s
list apply to me pretty well too:
I got overexcited and overenthused on a topic (I lose my sense of proportion , just keep trying to make my point and don’t let people finish their sentences).
I got tired.
Three things went wrong in a row. Two I can handle, but make it three and I lose it.
I was asked to do more than one thing at a time. I’m not a multitasker, and I get cranky when people interrupt my concentration.
Igot criticized too directly (I reacted badly).
I felt like I’m not being treated with respect.
I was trying too hard to ‘show off.
4. There were some pretty
funny moments too. Like the brilliant letter
to the San Francisco Chronicle complaining about the title of my book. Or Mark
Fortier’s style guide for people in the media who interview me, but are squeamish
about the title. Or the picture to the left from Value Rich that illustrates how assholes breed like rabbits (It is supposed to be inserted on page 66). And the post about the day that the The No Asshole Rule was used in the bible
studies class, I confess, struck me as funny at first, until I realized how
serious and wise Richard Beck’s application of the ideas were (see my last
post for more). But the one that made me laugh the hardest was probably the “lovely
moment in the MBA classroom,” passed along by C.K. Gunsalus. Here is the key part:
We had a lovely moment in class today you might
appreciate. We had a guest speaker, who had scanned the syllabus upon
arriving in the classroom. The speaker said, at one point, something along the lines of "I see you’re
reading a book by Bob Sutton with a word in the title I simply detest." An unidentified student in the back of the room (there are more than 100 people
in this class) yelled out:
"Yeah, I hate the word
‘rule’, too,"
5.
Perhaps the most heartening thing I learned was how many organizations were
already using The No Asshole Rule, or
similar rules. The "no assholes rule at SuccessFactors got the
most attention (You can read about in the
McKinsey Quarterly, hear about it on KFOG, or see it on MSNBC). I also liked the The
No Dickhead Rule at Arup and Lou Pepper’s story about how the applied the
rule during the years he was CEO of Washington Mutual – you can read about
these and other examples of places with the rule here. And I was also heartened by the dozens of people who told me that the book
helped give them courage to quit a job where they had a vile boss or
co-workers. I wrote the book to encourage organizations to treat people in more civilized ways and to
encourage people who are trapped in nasty workplaces to fight back effectively, and failing
that, find ways to get out if they possibly can.
Finally,
I would like to give special thanks to fellow bloggers who wrote such supportive
things about the book during the past year or so, and sent me so many warm and constructive notes that usually didn’t appear on this blog, but helped my a great deal Please forgive me if I have left
you out, I am trying to remember as well as I can. This is a very incomplete list, hundreds of other bloggers have helped me who aren’t mentioned). These include:
Gretchen
at the Happiness Project
Jeff
at Management By Baseball
Pam
at Escape from Cubicle Nation
Alexander
at the Chief Happiness Officer
Lisa at
the Time Magazine Blog
IL Metodo Antistronzi (Italian
Edition Blog)
Objectif Zero Sale Con (French Edition Blog)
I
could go on and on, an again, I am sorry
to those I’ve left out. I appreciate the
support from everyone, and the criticisms too. On to 2008!
P.S. The picture above of a dead fish on a keyboard is from a story about the book in a German magazine gets my vote for the weirdest of them all.
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