Aaron over at Electric Pulp wrote to tell me that the ARSE test, as of yesterday, was at 116,309 completions. So the self-examination continues.
In the last few weeks, I’ve had the strange experience of meeting a host of people — including a Target executive, an IT manager, and the Executive Director of a non-profit — who introduced themselves to me by telling me their name and ARSE number. Like "Hi, I am Joe, and I am a 2." Each time this happens, my immediate reaction is that I have no idea why they are applying a number to themselves, and then I remember why. Those of you who have taken the test will recall that 0 to 5 suggests you are not an asshole, 5 to 15 that you are a borderline certified asshole, and over 15 that you are a certified asshole.
I just took the test again for myself (my score varies by my mood, I confess), and I got a 2. I’ve scored as high as an 8, so either I am in a good mood or my level of self delusion is higher than usual.
The fantastic pictures are by freelance artist Lisa Haney, her take on how bullies do their dirty work — this was a series of drawings that she apparently did for the New York Times. Taken together, they remind of different ways to assholes do their dirty work, sort of a five-item test that might compliment the written items. The top picture is mobbing — where a group gangs up on one poor victim. The drawing is perfect because, at least for me, the victim’s body language and expression demonstrate how assholes can leave a victim feeling demeaned and de-energized so well. And then if you look at the panel above, I see a screaming boss or co-worker, then a boss who insults other’s intelligence (this one reminds me of the TV personality who asked a producer "What did you do, take your stupid pills this morning?"), then the backstabber, and finally the asshole who makes it hard for others to do their jobs by withholding the information that they need. Indeed, it is interesting that Lars Dalgaard at SuccessFactors defines an asshole, in part, as someone who interferes with the "transparency " that he believes is essential to an effective organization.
So, while being victim to any one of Lisa’s bullying techniques is bad enough, you can imagine a 5 point scale, where 0 is best and 5 worst:
People where I work:
Scream at me
Treat me like I am stupid
Subject me to two-faced backstabbing
Keep secrets that make it hard for me to do my job
Gang-up on me
The last one seems like the worst to me, but I am taken by how much of the "asshole problem" is captured by Lisa’s five pictures.
Check out her website — Lisa also is an occasional contributor to Mad magazine. By the way, if I were Guy Kawasaki, I might call it something like the LSAT — Lisa’s Short Asshole Test!
P.S. Back to Electric Pulp, they just did a website for Stephen Colbert’s new book I Am America. Among other things, you can petition Oprah to put him on her show so he can promote his book!
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