Gretchen Rubin’s Happiness Project

Check it out. As Gretchen puts it, “I’m working on a book, THE HAPPINESS PROJECT–a
memoir about this year, during which I’m testing every principle, tip, theory,
and scientific study I can find, whether from Aristotle or St. Therese or
Martin Seligman or Oprah.”  She has great
and diverse tips – starting with her 12 Commandments – – for traveling through
life doing good things for herself and others. On the surface, her quest sounds a lot different than driving out and
reforming demeaning workplace jerks. But
as I read through her blog, I realized that we are both chasing a similar dream
(although her language is much nicer than mine). When I looked at Gretchen’s 12 commandments,
I realized that these are means that we can all use to stop our “inner jerk”
from rearing its ugly head. Her “let it go” reminds me of my call for learning
when and how to practice indifference. Feeling more passionate about the people you work with and your
workplace can backfire at times. Unfortunately, there are times when becoming
emotionally detached from nasty people and places that you can’t escape can
help you avoid turning into demeaning jerks like them.

I’d also add to her list that it is important to
view nastiness as a contagious disease, and one of the most effective ways to
avoid catching such asshole poisoning is to stay away from – or quickly exit –
gatherings, groups, and organizations where the “pro-asshole” rather than the
“no asshole” rule reigns. And, in terms
of happiness, since that is contagious too, seeking and surrounding yourself
with sweet and energetic people is an evidence-based path to happiness.

Perhaps it is my bias, because I am married to an
attorney who has worked at a large law firm for over 20 years, but I think it
is no accident that so many lawyers get interested what it takes to be a happy
person and what it takes to drive out and reform nasty people from workplaces.  Gretchen was a clerk for Justice Sandra Day
O’Connor on the U.S. Supreme Court; one of the wisest living Americans, and by
all accounts, one of kindest judges. But even the nicest lawyers see the worst of
what human beings do, it is one of the few occupations where clients sometimes
hire you to act like an overbearing jerk on their behalf, and major law firms –
which are ranked largely by “profits per partner,” the amount of money earned
by the average partner – can turn into hotbeds of distress as people work far
longer hours than is healthy for any human being and too often engage in
dysfunctional competition over their share of the partnerships profits. Indeed, it is no surprise that Aric Press,
editor of the American Lawyer proposed
that law firms institute “jerk
audits” after reading my essay about the no asshole rule in the Harvard
Business Review.

I am going to follow Gretchen’s blog closely – and
show it to my wife as well. Learning how to be happier isn’t just good for
ourselves, it is good for everyone around us.